Locker room horror stories

The 5 worst things that can happen to a female swimmer in the locker room

“Everything that happens in the locker room stays in the locker room”, Brad Pitt would have said in the film ‘Fight Club’ if it had been set in a changing room, and most swimmers know exactly what I am talking about. We get to the pool right on time, perfectly equipped and with the right attitude to start training. Just like in a film, the pool is our stage, but what we do not talk about is everything that happens  ‘backstage ‘. We forget about all the gossip we heard in the changing room, also leaving behind all our worst nightmares: but what kind of nightmares exactly? Let’s take a look at them together!

Forgetting your make-up remover wipes
There is no better way to end up looking like a panda than to leave your wipes at home and, unfortunately, at least once, everybody finishes their training looking like a girl who has just cried her eyes out after breaking up with her boyfriend!

Finding another girl’s hair under your flip flops
We take very great care to keep our swim bag neat and tidy and we can even stand finding our own hair tangled up in our hair brush….. but not another  girl’s!

Leaving your underwear at home
You left the office late, you rushed to pull on the first swim suit you could find and you even managed to get to the pool on time for training. Then suddenly, in a flash, your worst nightmare suddenly occurs to you: you have left your underwear at home!

Having to dry your hair with a wall-mounted hairdryer
Too high, too low, not powerful enough or blowing out cold air. I really cannot list all the reasons for hating a wall-mounted hairdryer… or perhaps I could by showing off the horrible fuzzy effect that horrific piece of machinery can cause. Having to use it really is one of the worst things that can happen to a female swimmer or even mums who have to use them to dry the hair of their own little athletes.

Forgetting to remove the unwanted body hair on one side of your body
Sooner or later everybody forgets to remove all their unwanted body hair, perhaps only on one side of their body. Lots of girl swimmers then start twisting and turning like a contortionist at the poolside as they try, for example, to cover one leg with the other. For others it is a good excuse to dive in straightaway, so that their teammates do not notice what they have forgotten to do.

Every swimmer has their own routine: sometimes forgetting to put your hair brush in your training bag means you end up with hair like the Lion King, and leaving your contact lenses at home can result in you actually failing to recognise your teammates; in a nutshell, you never know what might happen but, fortunately, as we said at the beginning, everything that happens in the locker room will inevitably stay in the locker room!